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You are ushered forward into a small shack marked "YE OFFICE OF TOURISTS" A tall wirey man with long blond hair pulled back into a pony-tail and wire- rimmed glasses is sitting in a chair admiring the edge of a finely honed broadsword. You notice bloodstains on the floor near the desk and other parts of the room. The man notices you, and hangs up the sword on two pegs on the wall. He smiles and says:
Welcome, traveler! You have entered into The KEEP, a most friendly and entertaining place! We welcome you to our system!
Before going into that, though, I must take care of some legal mumbojumbo my boss tells me I have to go through. First off we need to get clear that this is a privately owned system. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Attempts to tamper, damage, or defraud this system are against Oregon and Federal laws and will be reported immediately to authorities. Your session online may be monitored at any time to ensure quality of service.
Well, wasn't that special!? Oh, I did notice ye admiring my sword, thats just a security measure.
Now if I can just find you a application for a tourist pass we'll get underway.
He turns to a six foot tall stack of papers piled up on his desk, closes his eyes, stabs blindly into the stack with his hand and pulls out a single sheet of paper.
Ah! there we are. Now LISTEN because this is important.
WARNING: We only allow one account PER user so if you already have an account
WARNING: here HANG UP NOW. We validate all accounts and if you are found to
WARNING: have mutiple userid's here we will BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO ALL ACCOUNTS
WARNING: involved. There are no exceptions.
Valid name, mailing address and phone number must be entered for access to this system. The system will automatically validate your account. If you put in invalid information or leave fields blank your account will automatically be suspended.